On the family front things are going ok. Sara and izzy are fine, big sis and I re as close as you can imagine but she has broken her foot. Again big sis being who she is just gets on with it, she’s a constant source of amazement and fascination to me. Like most baby brothers I find myself wanting to get approval and validation from her. Half sister from my mothers side still refuses to speak to me, but even though it hurts I am slowly coming to terms with it.
A constant source of irritation and disappointment is how distant my half brother and sister are on my fathers side. My sister never speaks, although she did call to see how I was when I got laid off which melted my heart. When ever I do all my brother 99 times out of 100 the call goes to voicemail. Never a followup call or txt message to explain. The whole thing just feels like rejection. The same rejection I have faced all my life and no matter how many times it happens, it never hurts any less. It makes me want to withdraw and pull away completely. I’ve always felt why stay if you’re not wanted, I mean it makes no sense to me.